NHSDA Gold Award Essay student 5

by Godha Pranathi

If my mom hadn’t lied that day, then I would consider myself incomplete. I have two names: Godha, the name only close relatives use, while Pranathi is my “American” name. I was never one whole person, but two identities shoved into one body, until my passion for dance blended them into a cohesive self, helping me accept who I am. 

“Can I get out?” I muttered as I clung to my mother's churidar, begging not to go down the void of stairs approaching a looming doorframe. It was 5 p.m. on a Thursday in 2014, and much like every other Thursday, I had to go to my Bharatanatyam dance class. Like clockwork, I attended class. 

“Every week, students, you will practice for 5 hours every day. Keep a log with you for your parents to sign to confirm the 5 hours are practice.”

I could do schoolwork, but for dance, my mom often forged my practice log. She always told me the lie would catch up to me at one point, but what was the point? I always practiced a few minutes before dancing, and I was fine. I wasn’t perfect, but fine. That Thursday, her frustration erupted as she opened the classroom door mid-performance, making my presence obvious to everyone. 

“Godha ma, let me see your log?”

What should I do? There was no signature. I took a big gulp and accepted whatever fate was meant for me. I looked down at my feet, shamefully saying that I had no evidence that I practiced. As a result, my teacher told me to write down “Om nama Shivaya” 50 times.

Om nama shivaya was a phrase connected to Lord Shiva, the cosmic dancer, which I wrote 50 times while others danced. 

From that day on, I practiced five hours daily. I was soon chosen to perform a Kuchipudi dance, a style unfamiliar to me. After that performance, I felt confident and open to learning anything in dance. Performing made me feel confident and capable of learning anything in dance.

When I started learning Bharatanatyam at Shishya School, I realized that it is not just about perfecting every mudra and step every day; it is about the discipline that rides along with it. It involves patience with myself and any student I teach, and it helps me build respect for the culture that I carry with pride now. Starting to teach at the age of 13, I taught students that you can love dance without being forced.

Through this change, I decided that I wanted to make an impact in the future as well. I hope to soon open a dance studio to teach children, including those in orphanages who cannot afford classes. Everyone deserves a glimpse of the beauty in Indian classical dance.

Learning about NHSDA helped me unify my identity as a dancer along with my identity as a student. A regular Thursday did not just start my journey as a dancer, but also helped me learn to live with my two names through dance.